Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What day is it?

I appreciate Cache filling in for me yesterday, it was yesterday right? I was out of commission with my latest illness. No it was not another bout of Post Super Bowl Syndrome, but something more severe.

I am irritable, drowsy, and sensitive to any light brighter than the glow of the TV. I am having difficulty concentrating, neck pain, headaches, and not sure of the current date and time. No, I did not fall down my stairs or get in a car accident both of those would have required leaving my house the last two weeks. I have come down with DVRITIS a very severe case. I blame Bob Costas and Al Michaels mostly. DVRITIS shares a lot of symptoms with major head trauma. Thanks to the modern miracle that is the DVR/TIVO I was able to watch every single match, lap, shot, jump, turn, spin, and slap-shot of the Winter Games from qualifiers to medals. It changed my life.

I now am aware of what good lap times are in a women's 3000 meter speed skating. I am also aware of all of the rules for disqualification and advancement in short-track. I know how many medals each country won and which athlete won them. I know about Gander, Newfoundland and their kindness to all during a time of peril for our country, 9/11. I know about the Mounties, sled dogs, and maple leafs. My knowledge has truly expanded. The unfortunate part is I can't remember which bag of chips I ate last or which can of soda might have something left in it. I don't know what day it is, what time it is except Vancouver time of the last event I watched.

The closing ceremonies ended a few minutes ago, which should tell me it is Sunday night, but I didn't watch it live. Thus, I am lost in my own home. I still remember where the fridge is thankfully, but I can't remember the age of my daughter or my own age for that matter. The age of my daughter is difficult without knowing generally what day it is because it changes constantly. My own age, well often times after DVRITIS and head injuries, traumatic experiences are forgotten.

Let this be a warning, please use your DVR with care or you to may suffer my fate. Who am I talking to? Oh no here I go again.

If you or a loved one is suffering from DVRITIS and would like to a part of class action law suit please contact a DVR Attorney near you.*
*No, there is not a real class action for this disease, yet.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I need in on that lawsuit- I know someone suffering from DVRITIS. Great blog!