Friday Farewells for August 13, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local used Car Dealership doing what they can to put you in a high quality vehicle at an affordable price.  Used Cars they are NEW to YOU!  (This is a shameless attempt to get a better price. Is it working?).  

Farewell:

Good list.  Charles Barkley is off Lebron's good list & on the naughty list.  That is precisely where Chuck wants to be.  After Lebron's tweet stating that he is keeping a list of those who have betrayed him and checking it twice, Barkley decided to volunteer.  Barkley stated to Galloway on his Dallas ESPN Radio Show that Lebron could put him on the list. Tears Naw we like it when Chuck is bad.  

Any Semblance of Respect.  Wait sorry that is a typo you can't lose something you never really had, but if I did have any it is now gone.  Jim Gray has now stooped to a new low which is tough since he is all of 5' nothing.  Picking on Corey Pavin is a new low.  I don't care if they guy lied, cheated, or stole your wallet.  You are a reporter get over yourself.  Jim Gray thinks he is Tom Cruise in a Few Good Men.  Good gravy this is not a government conspiracy this is whether Corey Pavin is going to invite Tiger to play on the Ryder Cup Team.  This is not life or death, just death to the TV ratings if Woods doesn't play.  Tears, a few because Pavin didn't punch Jim Gray in the face not for this but for the whole Lebron ordeal.  

Freedom.  Did you know there are holding cells at Citi Field in New York? Neither, did K-Rod until he went ahwahll on his father-in-law (at least that is what he is being called).  This just in the Father of your baby's momma is now called Baby's GRANDPAPI My question is how is the food?  My guess is hot dogs, nachos, soda, & all the peanuts & cracker jacks you can eat.  Tears NOTTA this is between a Met & a Baby Grandpapi.    

 
Chipper.  Larry Chipper Jones tore his ACL ending his season & most likely his career.  Many questions have arisen as a result of this injury.  How does this affect the Braves pennant run? It doesn't help, but likely doesn't end it. Is Chipper a Hall of Famer?  Most certainly!  On a scale of 1 to 10 how devastated are true Braves fans?  100,000,239,392,393,383,395,442!  On a scale of 1 to 10 that is a lot.  Tears by the bucket full.  

I had 3 more, but I am devastated by the Chipper news and can't continue. Hopefully I can regroup for next week.  

Need more Farewells to cheer you up from your own case of Chipper Sadness? Just click here.

Friday Farewells for August 6, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local Truck Dealer & High School Wide Recievers catching passes from NFL Quarterbacks everywhere (or is that Former NFL Quarterbacks everywhere).

Farewell:


Slump. Eric Hinske snapped an 0 for 17 streak with a home run off Tim Lincecum in the bottom of the 6th to break a 2-2 tie in a game the Braves won 3-2 over the Giants.  What do you say to someone that hits a home run of Lincecum when he is 0 for his last 17 equates? Happy Birthday! In this case it fits as the former Razorback, Hinske turned 33.  This is one he'll remember.  Tears of joy for a Brave & a Razorback. No better combination in my book.  

Elvis Dumervil. The Broncos sack man is out for what appears to be four months with a torn pectoral. Can you say YEOOOOOOOOOW! Yes, that is right a torn pectoral muscle.  I had pectoral muscles once, but they left along with my talent, coordination, and endurance.  Sadly the only thing left is my memory (my wife disagrees).  Tears of pain for both Dumervil & the memories of my once chiseled physique (at least in my mind it was chiseled).    

Extortionist.  Everyone can finally feel safe again Rick Pitino's blackmailer has been convicted.  Karen Cunagin Sypher is now safely behind bars so that no will be tempted to commit adultery with her in an Italian restaurant.  Wait that is not what she is guilty of it was asking for money afterwards.  Does this woman's name look eerily similar to Con-again Siphon. Let this be a lesson do not do anything with someone named SYPHER or even worse ConAgain SIPHON that you may not want revealed later.  Also forgo such  acts with people named Leach, Vampire, Bloodsucker, Gold Digger, or Robert Halderman (Ask Dave Letterman on this one).  Tears? Uhhhhhhh... hmmmm...ahhhh, what happened again, oh yeah nope no tears for anyone involved here.  I have a general policy of no tears for MORONS especially for events caused by their MORONIC Behavior.    


Summer of Tranquility. Don't worry people Favre Mania has begun again and we all know how excited I am about it.  If you have forgotten go here.  Nothing like watching an interview 15 times of Ed Werder yelling at Brett over the sound of his diesel engine.  That is quality TV & I am glad it is back so I have something to do besides Guiding Light.  Let the Drama Begin!  My ankle hurts, I'm old, I want to spend time with my mommy, and oh I am playing as soon as the tough part of training camp is over.  Tears? The reason I cry my self to sleep at night or drool the dreadful drool of regret in my pillow of remorse is no one's business.  Besides I don't want to be blackmailed. MAKE A DECISION ALREADY!  


Cleveland.  In an exodus that needs someone named Moses leading it Shaq is the latest to leave the Cavaliers.  Did all of these people forget that Cleveland rocks?  Well with Lebron being Legone maybe the general population is next to follow what use to be an NBA franchise.  One thing for sure is Dan Gilbert is staying, but maybe his mind left when he lost it.  Tears for the love I have for the Four6Three Band.

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Friday Farewells for July 30, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by the Deadline the one line that changes everything as we know it & accomplishes a lot for being dead.

FAREWELL:

Winning:  JA Happ goes from contender to cellar in one day.  Normally it takes a losing streak over a couple weeks to drop that far in the standings in this case it just took a plane trip and a change of uniform.  Tears, both of us have several.

Houston:  Oswalt the winningest NL pitcher in the last decade has changed to the defending NL champs.  The Phillies are like the Yankees lately. As a Braves fan I must protest & yes cry.

Prospects:  Phillies have given up a lot and wouldn't have had to if they had just kept Cliff Lee instead of giving him to the Mariners for a case of Diet Coke and a dozen bats.  I can only hope my tears will be rewarded in the future.

Title of Athlete: Anyone who has trouble running three 50 yard shuttle runs in under 17 seconds each with a minute break between each one should not be called an athlete.  A lot of people criticize race car drivers and golfers and say they are not athletes, but 95% of them could do this and a NFL star making millions upon millions has failed two days in a row.  Albert Haynesworth has lost the right to call him self an athlete he is now the blob that plugs up the middle so the other ATHLETES can make tackles.  Tears of exhaustion as I passed the test last night & now can't move today, but I DID IT!

Defense: I am not a soccer player, but I am pretty sure a group of me and my co-workers could stop Manchester United from scoring in less than 24 seconds.  I think we would have a good chance if they had to start at Mid field.  Why am I sure about this because I would foul somebody hard five seconds in and argue about it for twenty.  Tears, yes that was painful to witness.

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Friday Farewells for July 23, 2010

This Friday Farewell is brought to you by the ever popular Pioneer Day.  I will never complain about a day off work.

Farewell: 




Free Trips to South Beach. Thanks to NCAA investigators college football players will no longer be able to take free trips to tropical destinations.  What has this world come to?  I remember when collegiate athletes could take trips, live in big houses, get cars, effortless A's & B's, and all the books their friends, family, teammates, or complete strangers could use.  Aghhh those were the days.  No tears here if there weren't rules I wouldn't have a job (okay so I guess the real reason I am okay with it is because right now it involves Alabama & not Arkansas).  

Juicing.  Minor League Baseball players will now be randomly tested for HGH.  So much for all the records we truly treasure like the Minor League Baseball homerun record, career minor league strikeouts, and the best time on running the bases after spinning around with your nose on a bat.  Two tears for fear I will be tested & have to return my Chuck E. Cheese gift certificate. 

Chris Paul.  Paul has named four teams where he is willing to go the Knicks, Blazers, Mavericks, and Magic. What do all these have in common? Bottomless pockets and a history of spending it unwisely.

Friday Farewells for June 25, 2010

This weeks Friday Farewells is brought to you by the Utah Jazz and BP because they are both desperate for some positive PR right about now and we will do anything to make some coin.


Farewell:

Draft Dreams.  After I got word that Gordon Hayward got drafted 9th to the Jazz I had visions of glory.  Described by some "EXPERTS" as a kid who can't jump, shoot, or run.  This lead me to think...THIS IS MY YEAR, I can't do any of those things either.  I went out and bought 30 hats and waited by my webcam for my big debut.  I made sure my phone, my wife's phone, and the house phone were all on chargers within a two foot radius of me and listed my status on Skype as available, very available.  Unfortunately the phones never rang although my Skype instant messenger was ringing off the hook, but a lot of wrong numbers.  Oh well there is always next year.  Tears yeah my hopes were pretty high.  In fairness to Gordon aren't those the same things said about Larry Bird?  


John Isner. Thank you for playing in the longest match in TENNIS HISTORY...now leave.  Really what did we think would happen after playing his first round match for over 11 hours divided over 3 days then make him play the next day in his second round match.  WOW, shocking he lost in straight sets.  I am sure it isn't because he WAS TIRED.  Seriously, Wimbledon is so much based on tradition, schedule, and structure that the guy cannot get the day off.  No hospitality like the British.  Thanks for captivating us for the last three days and give somebody a reason to talk about the first round of Wimbledon even with the World Cup going on here is some crappy food, a nice white sweater, and your ticket back to the States.  Hope you enjoyed your stay.  Tears of PURE ANGER... I mean really delay his match give the guy a day off.


Rasheed Wallace.  The Sheed is no more an NBA star or even player for that matter.  This leaves us wondering where will referees go to fill their technical foul quota for the season.  The NBA is thrilled as it will save a bundle on bleep sound effects and referee technical bonuses.  We will miss Sheed as we do all Tar Heels when they give up the game.  Two T's and then we got ejected.  


Bad Luck & Bad Calls.  These two often go hand in hand so we were glad they left together in the 91st minute of Team USA's game against Algeria.  After two goals called back in two different games and 79 chances that just didn't find the back of the net it finally ended when Landon Donovan's rebound shot found the back of the old onion bag.  Even more miraculously than the goal in stoppage time was the fact that the referee did not call it back.  HALLELUJAH! We are glad this depression duo left or it would have been the US that we bid farewell to today.  Let's hope they stay away as we enter the knockout stage Saturday @ 2:00 PM ET against Ghana on ABC.  It is like voting you must watch.  TEARS OF JOY! USA USA USA! 


16 Teams. The world cup has advanced to the knock-out stage which is interesting since more teams are actually knocked-out during the group stage.  Sixteen teams have headed home and sixteen are left one of which will be left standing as World Cup Champion.  This is one of many phrases I don't understand in soccer, like stoppage time.  Stoppage time is done after the clock should have stopped and no one is quite sure when it ever will stop except the head referee.  Someone please STOP the madness.  Anyway sixteen countries including France & Italy can pick up their teams and souvenirs at baggage claim.  Bon voyage. Chow. Tears only for the South Africans who were so close and it would have meant so much.  


Multiple Run Leads.  The College World Series has been overshadowed by the World Cup, but it has not been outscored.  We like scoring and comebacks in America ask the US soccer team.  The CWS has been filling Rosenblatt Stadium with great games and memories in its last year.  Huge comebacks, late inning heroics and then there were four: TCU, UCLA, Clemson, & South Carolina.  Check them out today and remember in college baseball no lead is safe, just ask Florida State & Oklahoma.  Tears, only because this is the last year in Rosenblatt, what a great place.

If you have the fever and the only cure is Friday Farewells here you go.

Friday Farewells for June 18, 2010

This edition of the Four6Three's Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local World Cup Soccer team, here to help you tie up the competition.  


Farewell:

NBA Season. The Season is over, but it went as long as it possibly could and we are not talking about only game 7 but the six months that are the NBA playoffs.  Seriously the playoffs started April 17th and finished on June 17th.  TWO MONTHS.  Four tears for each year of my life the NBA has taken with its extraordinarily long playoffs. No wonder I don't watch the regular season.

Restraint. Laker fans we get it you hate the Celtics, but booing a 200 year old legend while he is awarding your star the Finals MVP is a little much. I don't care if Bill Russell is your worst enemy you don't boo one of the greatest players ever while he is handing your best player a trophy.  Two tears for the over-exuberance of an entire arena.

Mountain West. University of Utah has left the best Non-BCS conference for the PAC10. The original BCS busters have either Really busted the BCS for good or simply sold out. It makes one wonder if Utah Senator Orin Hatch will continue his crusade against the BCS. Only time will tell. Two sentimental tears for the Utes two BCS victories.

Conference Expansion Rumors. The hottest water cooler or sports radio show topic has been college expansion, but with Itah getting in the Pac-10 all that is behind us right?!? Sure it is unless you are listening to Jerry Jones and the rumors concerning Arkansas & Notre Dame to the Big 12.  So maybe the summer of fun isn't over yet, Arkansas A.D. has said Arkansas is not interested.  Lots of tears. What else am I going to do all summer if the rumors stop, WORK?

Field Goals. In one of the best defensive displays in NBA history or one of the most pathetic offensive performances the Lakers scored 12 out of their last 19 points form the free throw line where even there it looked as though there was a lid on the basket. The Lakers shot 32.5% while the Celtics were on fire shooting 40.8%. Kobe & Ray Allen combined for a 9 for 38 shooting night, which happens to be exactly what I shot at the rec center last week so next week I will be announcing to whoever decides to guard me that I am as good as Allen and Bryant combined. Don't worry I know how peposterous that statement is, my crossover and post game are way better.  Tears YES! I don't mind watching defensive basketball that was fantastic, but somebody mix in a make.  Maybe I am still bitter about the missing years of my life.  


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Friday Farewells for June 11, 2010

This almost tear-less edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by the World Cup & South Africa, thanks for inviting us to your party.

Farewell:


Boredom. The powers that be in sports have created the PERFECT STORM of SPORTS this week.  The NHL Stanley Cup was decided this week congrats Blackhawks, the NBA Finals has been terrific, College Baseball Super Regionals start today, NASCAR & MLB continue their seasons, and oh there is this little thing going on in South Africa called the World Cup that happens once every four years.  If you are a sports fan and cannot find anything to watch that you like then you might want to talk to your cable company because whatever your paying is too much.  I will watch some World Cup, College Baseball Super Regionals, & NBA Finals all on the same day. Tears of joy, although by the end of the week they may be tears of pain because my thumb hurts from changing channels so much to catch all the action.  

Big Baby. "I felt like a Beast."  Big Baby Glen Davis is no longer hello Big Beast.  Big Beast & his mini-me Nate Robinson carried the Celtics to a game four NBA Finals victory. Boston's bench outplayed the Laker's starters for almost the entire fourth quarter.  They did it with energy, effort, and emotion.  The latter lead to two technicals, but ultimately neither hurt as the Celtics evened the series.  No Tears. Goodbye Baby, Hello Beast!

Big 12. Colorado and apparently Nebraska will both say so long to the Conference with the most (tied with the SEC) appearances in the BCS Championship Games.  Maybe though Texas getting all the money is no longer tasting as good to these two especially with promises of greener & tastier pastures in the PAC-10 & Big Ten.  Is the Big 12 still salvageable? Absolutely.  If Texas stays it still works.  I know Nebraska is a storied program on the rebound, but they are not what they once were and Colorado has not recovered since the scandals.  Nebraska will be hard to replace, but not irreplaceable.  Tears NOTTA. I have no tears for any BCS conference losing teams or imploding only tears for the WAC losing Boise State.

Indifference.  I have never disliked MLS, but sort of been indifferent to it.  I would watch the occasional game or MLS Cup if nothing else was on.  I attended my first game Wednesday, between Real Salt Lake vs. L.A. Galaxy.  Galaxy were undefeated, notice I said undefeated past tense, thanks to a goal in the 81st minute by Real's Javier Morrales.  The game was about as much fun as a pair of crabs in a bucket (which is a good time trust me).  It was very exciting and the crowd was awesome, not even a 30 minute lightning delay could lower my impression of the what a first rate event the game was.  No tears here only good times and lots of new chants.  

Boise State.  A breaking event the WAC bids farewell to Boise State, which leaves the conference well empty.  The WAC has to be devastated.  It will be interesting to see if Boise State can be as dominant in a far stronger conference.  Tears only a few, because I will have to deal with BYU fans on a consistent basis now, that includes Mark & Martin the Fayetteville Cougars.      

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Friday Farewells for June 4, 2010

This somber edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local rain cloud.

Farewell:

Ken Griffey Jr.  The most talented player of my generation was also the best player I ever saw in person.  He was largely overshadowed by people like Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and others.  Griffey, however, is one of the only superstars not to have the cloud of steroid suspicion.  His retirement was once again overshadowed by a scandal, as the Almost Perfect Game was the same night.  Griffey and his 630 career homeruns is now 40 years old.  It is hard to believe that Junior is no longer the Kid running around with his hat on backwards during batting practice.  His career was slowed by injuries, yet he is still a first-ballot Hall of Famer thanks to the sweetest swing I have ever seen.  Tears...of course! Junior was every young player's idol.


Big 12.  The Pac 10 has supposedly interest in 6 members of the Big 12 Conference including: Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, & Colorado.  Missouri is as good as gone to the Big Ten and Nebraska is supposedly interested.  Texas A&M is rumored to be interested in the SEC.  What does these all mean?  Well it seems no team, except Missouri, wants to be the first to break the ice, but no one wants to be left should someone break that ice.  The rumors will fly and the schools and conference will deny them, but where there is smoke there is fire and the Big 12 is burning, so it is up to the schools whether they will escape the smoke or wait for the flames.  A single sentimental tear drop and a boat load of excitement because the college conference landscape is about to change.

Solid NBA Announcers.  We thought that ABC/ESPN would learn from other networks mistake and not employ obnoxious announcers.  The Four6Three and basketball fans everywhere rejoiced in the streets when Bill Walton called his last game.  Little did we know Walton would be reincarnated to form two small twins.  Mark Hand Down Man Down Jackson, and Jeff Pogo-Stick VanGundy single handily ruined game one of the NBA Finals and I had to retreat to the confines of the car to listen on ESPN Radio, which was great by the way.  I thought, why would you not take the talent on radio and put it on TV and put the morons on radio.  I came up with one solid reason, car wrecks and possible lawsuits resulting from those wrecks.  Tears yes because my ears hurt, but not as bad as my brain.  


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Friday Farewells

This weeks Friday Farewells are bought to you by your local shrub.  


Farewell:


Sweep.  The Celtics suddenly went from dominating to filling out applications for the AARP.  Seriously, the Celtics have aged two-years per game in this series and they were not young to begin with.  Combine the onset of osteoporosis with all their injuries and their coach Doc Rivers may have to suit up.  I think he probably still has game.  Three tears for the Celtics because I know how it feels to get old.  


Jobs. Hello prison.  Federal agents are now investigating the Kansas Ticket Scheme.  Maybe, I need to get into ticketing that seems to be where all the money is.  Well the Jayhawk staff will have to do the Jail-House Rock Chalk! Tears only from my bad Rock Chalk Jayhawk Joke.

Cash. Lots of coin was lost this week due to comments made about upcoming free-agents most notably Lebron James.  Lucky for Steve Kerr and Mark Cuban two of the people that lost money the NBA has found it & will take good care of it by donating it to a charity.  Phew catastrophe avoided.  
 
Cloud of Suspicion. Hello Thunderstorm of allegations.  A 15-month investigation has lead the NCAA to allege 8 MAJOR violations against the UConn Huskies Men's Basketball Program.  Farewells in the near future include: Scholarships, Post-Season Play, Allowable Telephone Calls, Recruiting Contacts, Possible TV Games, and HEADS, which will be rolling soon.  Tears, not too many, it hurts to get caught with your hand in the cookie jar.  

Shrub. Need I say more.  Tears, I prefer watering eyes, but yes a few from the pine needles getting me in the eye.




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Friday Farewells for May 21, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by our friends, family, and Fayetteville.  We love you all!

Farewell:

Drama. The NBA playoffs are know devoid any drama as both series appear to be blowouts and possibly sweeps.  Phoenix still has a chance to defend home court, but as for Orlando they have renamed Amway Arena the Orlando Garden.  Hopefully if things play out the Celtics can do in the finals what no one since the Thunder have done and that is give the Lakers a fight.  Wake me up when it's over.

Suspicion.  Any suspicion surrounding cyclist Floyd Landis's use of performance enhancers is no longer as he has admitted to using PED's for most of his cycling career.  We appreciate your honesty Floyd.  There is nothing we appreciate more than someone who is 100% honest about cheating almost 100% of the time.  What a conundrum, at this point I am neither sad nor surprised.

Doug Collins. A fantastic NBA announcer will leave TNT to head back to the bench where he is most notably known as the former coach of Michael Jordan.  Doug is a fantastic analyst we hope he is as successful on the sideline.  Mix of joy and sadness.

Joe DeRosa. Say it ain't so Joe.  NBA referee Joe DeRosa has been suspended for throwing a ball at a fan who was heckling him.  Reports vary as to whether the ball was flipped, tossed, thrown, chucked or launched at the fan, regardless what was DeRosa thinking.  Is refereeing a NBA basketball game so easy that you can start refereeing fan behavior? DeRosa has bigger problems than some heckler like why the Magic are livid at how the games have been officiated.  Joe, I am not sure if you know this or not, but there is security at NBA games provided by the arena.  You do your job and they will do their's.  Besides the extra focus might help you do a decent job and then you probably won't get heckled so bad, well until word of this spreads.  Good officials are not noticed, throwing a ball at a fan gets you noticed.  I cry only because I tune in to watch basketball and get to watch people referee instead.


Playing for yourself. Southern Miss is now playing not only for its own post-season hopes, but for Brett Favre's future.  Brett in an attempt to take the pressure off his forty-year-old self, put it where it rightfully belongs on 18-22 year old college baseball players.  Favre has told the Golden Eagles that if they make it back to the College World Series in Omaha he will suit up again for another NFL season.  At least this gives us some sort of timeline for Brett's return even if it is dependent on a college baseball team.  So we will wait to see if the world's greatest flip-flopper will play NFL football or go to his rightful position, politics.  Tears? Yes, because for the 17th straight year I have to listen to the summer long debate about whether Favre will return.     


Fayetteville, U of A, and Friends. On a personal note we have moved to Utah and had to say goodbye to the town we love, the University we graduated from, and the friends we will miss forever.  Tears all the way to Lincoln, Nebraska which probably stopped due to dehydration so whenever we are fully hydrated they will probably continue (in Utah that could be mid-June). 


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Friday Farewells for April 23, 2010

This weeks edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by higher education or lower education depending on where you attend. 

First Round Hopes. Many draftees saw their hopes and dreams of being a first rounder or even a first day draft pick disappear last night.  Among those were quarterbacks Jimmy Clausen and Colt McCoy, but not Tim Tebow who looked as surprised as everyone else when he was drafted by Denver.  Other notable prospects that were not drafted in the first round this year, ME.  Goodbye Ginormous Signing Bonus! A box of tears for all the stuff I could have bought.

Games.  Big Ben will be missing 6 games with a possibility to have it reduced to 4 while Edison Volquez, pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, will miss 50 games for use of performance enhancing drugs.  The difference between the two suspensions is that Ben will actually miss his games.  Volquez is on the disabled list recovering from surgery and his suspension will be over long before he ever is ready to pitch again.  So if your going to cheat kids, do it while your on the disabled list.  Sad to miss games you won't miss?!? Ben can't complain!

Sweep.  The two number one seeds: the Lakers & Cavs both had hopes of resting up for second round matchups after sweeping the eight seeds, but that was before the Bulls and Thunder came to play.  Can these teams win more than one game and actually make it a series? Time will tell, but my money is on the Thunder to win at least one more game.  As for the Bulls you better enjoy this one.  One tiny tear is forming on the west coast of my face...never mind that is a bead of sweat.

Self Respect. In the middle of the night the Pittsburgh Pirates search for something they never lost something that somebody stole.  That somebody was the Millwaukee Brewers, who beat every ounce of pride out of the Pirates with a 20-0 win (Yes, this is baseball). I know some like to be humble, but there is a difference between being humble and being humiliated.  Sorry this was the latter.  20 tears of pain! 

65.  The NCAA has signed a $10.8 billion contract deal with Turner and CBS to broadcast every Men's Tournament game live.  The Tourney will also likely expand for next year to 68 teams giving us not one, but four play in games.  This expansion is better than the alternative of 96 teams which would have diluted the tournament and killed the NIT.  The 65 format was foolish anyway having one of the one-seeds play a team that already played and the other three not.  It was confusing who played it (it was not always the number one overall seed), when it was (Tuesday night?), and why?  At least this will work equally in all four regions.  A little nervous anytime you mess with perfection.

 

University of Arkansas School of Law.  Third-year law students at this fine institution have attended their last classes EVER.  Congratulations and good luck on Finals and the Bar or whatever else you will be doing! Buckets full of tears of joy, laughter and happiness.

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Friday Farewells April 16, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local convenience store, please thank them for the convenience. 

Farewell:

Regular Season.  No more games that really don't matter.  It is playoff time in the NBA and now the season starts for 16 teams.  The best part...no more NETS.  Hallejuah!

Possible Charges.  Big Ben is not going to the Big Pen.  The District Attorney has stated that he will not be filing charges against Pittsburgh's quarterback.  Fortunately for Ben, being a moron is not a crime in the state of Georgia.  Insert Law and Order's gavel noise here.

Draft Picks.  In a trade to acquire Ted Ginn from Miami the 49ers have traded a 5th round pick.  Really a 5th round pick for a decent wide reciever who is blazing fast and still has upside.  Now we know why the Dolphins make Hootie cry.  Only wanna be with you.

Home court.  In a horrible performance the Jazz went from possibly having the 3 seed and home court to the 5 seed against Denver and will do so without Andrei Kirilinko and possibly without Carlos Boozer.  What a shot to the kisser this is, OUCH!

Home ice.  There is no place like home unless you are the Washington Capitals. The Caps gave up home ices losing Thursday night to the 8 seeded Canadiens in overtime.  Ovechkin please don't leave early, the NHL TV ratings need you.

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Friday Farewells for April 9, 2010

This edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by our friends in the Burg: Uncle Dave and our biggest fan Cindy we appreciate your readership and more importantly your subscription fees.
It is Friday once a again so we must say so long to another week in sports.

Farewell:

Spring Training. So long meaningless games. Hello Opening Week! Major League Baseball is back after another winter of hibernation. Every team after the first week is still in the hunt for the pennant. Yes, hope springs eternal. I can’t stop crying I am so happy.

Hoosiers Sequel. Thanks to Duke and Coach K the blockbuster hit of 2010, Hoosiers the College Years has been cancelled. The film was set to feature the Butler Bulldogs and their ball boy/coach Brad Stevens, who was to be played by Zack Ephron. The real Coach Stevens (not Zack) just signed a deal to coach Butler through 2022 at which point they are excited because he will be old enough to drive. Buckets of tears, Hoosiers is my favorite movie.

Break from Football Season. College Spring Football is in full swing Arkansas went outside the box and instead of scrimmaging itself it played St. Louis who it beat 32-8. The Billikens were able to score a touchdown late and add the two point conversion. Oh wait my bad… this was a college baseball game. The game included 30 hits by the Razorbacks and was mercifully, for the fans, called after 6 ½ innings. After playing the hogs the billikens cried boo hoo hoo all the way home.

Hiatus. Tiger resumed playing golf yesterday at the Masters and I resumed writing after a few days off, both monumental breaks with huge ramifications upon the sports industry. This may prove the golf course is the only place he is comfortable and others are comfortable with him. No tears yet, but judging by the way he played the tears are about to return for the other competitors.

Fighting Sioux. University of North Dakota will change its nickname from the Fighting Sioux after a board decision and four year legal battle. The NCAA decided that the name was “hostile and offensive”. Members of the Spirit Lake Sioux however were trying to prevent the change. Fighting is such a derogatory word that I can see why the NCAA called it “hostile and offensive”. I am a member of the OBAGFWC, Organization to Ban All Go Fight Win Cheers. I think these cheers are hostile and offensive to opposing teams and their fans. They incite things like trying to beat (mega hostile) and defeat (ubber offensive) others. I think North Dakota should go with the Olive Branches, the Peace Makers (catchy slogan, “blessed are us”) or the Tying Sioux because clearly Native American names are not offensive or the Native American Tribe members wouldn’t be trying to keep them. It is those darn adjectives like fighting it did in the Illini and now the Sioux. Tears that this used up money in this economy for a four-year legal battle, wait no come to think of it that is exactly where money should go to people with law degrees. How do I sign up?

Perfect Season. After a 2-0 start I had dreams of the perfect season for my Atlanta Braves. Perfection was still possible only 160 more to go. The Cubs dashed all those hopes yesterday with a 2-0 win over the Braves. Don’t worry about me I am sure I will be okay…maybe?!? The Cubs cheated I just know it I don’t have any proof yet, but I know it happened!

If you are like Cindy and cannot get enough of Friday Farewells click here for more.

Friday Farewells for April 2, 2010

This Final Four edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by the number 4 & the letter F (I have spent way too much time watching television with my 2 year-old daughter).

Farewell:

Freedom. Cleveland Browns tackle Shaun Rogers attempted to board an airplane, but was arrested. He was not however arrested because he took up two seats, but because his gun and bullets with him apparently did. So in a role reversal the tackle was tackled by airport security. Taking a loaded gun in your bag with you on an airplane produces the same results as a bad roll of the dice in monopoly, both land you directly in jail without passing go. Tears? Oh yes a few tears of laughter at his stupidity & at the thought of twelve TSA officials trying to take down this mammoth of a man.

Mind. Jim Playfair coach for the Abbotsford minor league hockey team bid farewell to his mind and self respect with his tirade.  I can't say more except if you have 53 seconds watch this meltdown. The only tears will come if you attempt to read lips.

John Wall’s Player of the Year Award. The AP apparently didn’t believe all the hype it was responsible for creating and made the correct decision choosing Evan Turner from Ohio State as the AP’s Player of the Year. Some may disagree with this decision, but they are wrong. Hard to feel bad when they got it right.

Privacy. The probe into Santonio Holmes alleged assault of a college student will be reactivated. The difference this time the victim will cooperate. Holmes is said to have thrown a glass at the student, hitting her in the face resulting in a laceration. TMZ has already reserved curbside parking at Holmes’ house along with the rest of the paparazzi. The upside his quarterback Ben knows a good attorney. Innocent until photographed looking guilty.

Championship Hopes. This just in UNC’s championship hopes vanished last night well at least for the NIT. Roy Williams stated what we all knew, that winning the NIT is not in his hopes and dreams. It is not in my hopes and dreams either Roy.

Security Guard. If you want to keep your job at Lucas Oil Arena, you probably should not mistake the coach of the Butler Bulldogs for a player. This is what a security guard did to Coach Brad Stevens on Thursday. Feel bad for the guy, but really Stevens doesn’t look old enough to play he looks like one of the player’s little brother. I feel your pain Brad, I got asked why I was skipping my Junior High Classes last Friday.

Olympic Roster Spot. USA Basketball managing director Jerry Colangelo has informed Dwayne Wade & Lebron James their roster spots for the Olympic Roster is not guaranteed if they skip this summer’s World Championships.  Both have indicated the plan to take this summer off.  No King, No Flash…No Gold Medal?Gulp!?!

Anonymity. Four6Three is no longer unknown as we received a comment from the Famous Dan Brown. No not the author of The DaVinci Code & Angel’s & Demons, but the one who runs podcasts and blogs. Yes Dan you are the famous one in our eyes and we would like to invite you to make a guest appearance on the Four6Three. Ecstatic someone famous is leaving comments, next stop ESPN.

Are you like Jo Dean Gates and can't get enough of Friday Farewells wll then here you go?

Friday Farewells for March 26, 2010

This late edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by Bricktown and the Mick (OKC knows what I am talking about).

Farewell:

Terrific Finish. Has there been a better game in recent memory than Xavier vs. Kansas State? Big shot after big shot with the game on the line. This was a fun one for sure. The only sorrow here is it had to end and someone had to lose.

Effort. Saint Mary’s apparently thought the season ended last week and packed it up before getting shellacked by the Baylor Bears. Don’t get me wrong Baylor is a great team, but they did not play the same team that beat Villanova last week. Sad when Cinderella leaves the Ball at least we still have Northern Iowa at least until the clock strikes midnight.

All but Eight. One by one they have been eliminated until after tonight there is only eight. It has been too much fun to watch them drop.

Best Player. The best player in the country Evan Turner is out of the tournament in a close loss to Tennessee. This proves once again in college hoops TEAM reigns supreme. This is sad because he is fun to watch.

One Seeds. There is only two one seeds left and Duke still has some work to do tonight against Purdue. Only one number one seed in the Elite Eight is crazy. Two down, two to go.

Nets attendance. Even though it left long ago Nets’ ownership is doing what they can to drive the few that remain away. As if watching the Nets wasn’t bad enough. Although, the Nets are now running a new promotion Friday Fight the CEO Night this should be exciting and bring Nets fans in droves. Aghhhhh!

Jack Bauer. Fox has cancelled 24 after 8 seasons. Apparently with the Trillion Dollar Healthcare bill the government can no longer afford the number one weapon in the war on terror. Yes, Jack will enter retirement and America will be taken over with a few weeks. No tears only fear that Axis of Evil has finally defeated us.

Bracket Domination. Butler sealed my fate by taking out my pick for national champion Syracuse. It looks like I will have to wait until next year. Well I can’t win them all. I am taking this harder than I let on, but I will do the mature thing and pretend like it didn’t happen and just remind everyone I won the Bowl Pick’em.

Want to read past Friday Farewells here you go.

Friday Farewells for March 19, 2010

This week's edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by the Big Dance (just don't tell them). 

This week we must say our so long to so many so let's get to it.

Farewell:

33 Teams.  Over one half of the 65 tams in the NCAA Tournament will be finished at the close of today (depending on your time zone).  We are glad they came and thrilled at their effort sadly they are one and done.  If only there was some way they could still be playing like a Consolation Bracket.  Too many tears to count, but the Buzzer Beaters that sent some of them home were pretty awesome.

Winthrop. After losing to Arkansas Pine Bluff your trip to the Big Dance was over before the music really ever began.  Ahh the joy of playing in the play in game, a game that CBS won't even show.  Gone is your chance to go .500 in the tourney oh well misery loves company and 31 more will join you as one and done. 

Big BEast.  The Big East was regarded as the Big BEast for most of the year yet in tourney time they have quickly been renamed to the conference formerly known as the Big BEast or the Big LEast whichever you prefer.  Always sad to lose a catchy nickname that required little to no creativity, but our sorrow is brightened by an equally lame nickname. 

Mike Bellotti. Oregon's Athletic Director, resigned today and will join ESPN as an analyst.  Maybe the prison visits to Duck football players were becoming too much.  One year as an AD we still think of him as Coach.

Boring Opening Day. Last years snooze fest is over as yesterday provided one of the best in recent memory with upsets, overtimes, and buzzer beaters.  No sorrow for this departure! YAHOOOOOOO!

Perfect Bracket. Like the fountain of youth always alluding me perfection left my bracket as Vanderbilt was making their departure.  Thanks a lot Murray State. Why...Why...WHY...! 

Missed Last Weeks Farewells get them here...

Friday Farewells for March 12, 2010

This weekly edition of Friday Farewells is brought to you by your local grocery store because groceries are what you eat (you guessed it Jo Gates didn’t pay up).


Farewell:

UConn and UNC. Two very distinguished programs were ousted early in their respective conference tournaments. Neither of these schools will be making the NCAA Tournament this year. Rebuilding year is a nasty word around these two campuses because they so rarely do it, but hopefully they will return to some sort of dignity and the big dance soon. Two Carolina blue teardrops.

Speculation over Jim Calhouns future. He’s back, he says for many more years. This is good news for Husky fans and bad news for the rest of the Big East. We love speculation, but when health issues are factored in we are glad to see it go.

Jose Reyes. First hamstringitis and now thyroid problems, Reyes is 6-8 weeks away from baseball activity. Never good to see someone have health problems. On the other side if you want to hear from someone who truly cares check out TheFour6Three on twitter our TWEETER DJ is Mets fan, because this is one blog where the Mets don’t get much love. I might be sad if I, well, hmmm… nope I got nothing.

Common sense. If common sense were common everyone would have it. Ben Rothelisberger and Allen Iverson wish this were the case. Between drinking themselves into horrible situations and not ever wanting to take responsibility for their actions these two could really use some decision making skills. Life coaches everywhere could be cashing in on these two. Sad to see the state of stupidity of what we call celebrities and stars.

Tourney Losers. Too many to name or even remember you came to your conference tournament needing to win it to get into the big dance. Goodbye too to your hopes and dreams. Hello spring break. One tear for each of you.

Manhood. Remember the days when a football team that was really talented and tough would take any team on, anywhere, anytime. Well apparently the anytime is a problem for Alabama. YES ALABAMA the defending National Champs. They complained to the SEC this week that they play 6 teams coming off bye weeks. SO WHAT? You are the number one team in the country. Last time I checked if you are the best you have to prove it. It really stinks to be number one and a sissy. Curl up tonight and watch a double feature of Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail and cry your elephant size tears on your crimson pillow. Its time to be MEN again.

Cable TV Shows. Running on a schedule no one can figure out, we will sadly watch re-runs or do something productive with our life until you return in two months. Come on you can do it.

Missed last week's Farewells... here you go.

Friday Farewells for March 5

Friday Farewells for March 5, 2010 brought to you by Joseph Gates. (Come on people the high bid was 2 cents & Gates you better pay up.)

Farewell to:

Allen Iverson.  Iverson will not make a return to the 76ers this year.  Look for him at an And1 tournament near you. Sad to see a great career end like this.

Pinched Nerve in Manning's Neck.  Peyton Manning had a pinched nerve in his neck repaired and should make a full recovery in time to complete all of his off-season commercials.  Phew that was a close one. Good riddance nagging neck injury.

Shaquille O'Neal.  The big aristotle gets the big digit operated on and that is going to cost him and the Cavs BIG TIME.  A little sad because its Shaq, but as long as he comes back for the playoffs the rest will probably do him good.

Self Responsibility.  Why blame yourself when you can blame a whole city? The new Mariner Milton Bradley agrees.  In what has to be the quote of the week Bradley said, "Two years ago, I played, and I was good. I go to Chicago, not good. I've been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me." Obviously, it was all that wind Milton. Bradley hit .257 last year but hit .296 in Chicago.  You will have to find another excuse however for why you played so poorly on the road.  Future quotes, "I only play poorly during day games or under the lights."  Feeling we are just noticing the departure of something that left long ago. 

NFL playing career.  Jacob Hickman has chosen other pursuits over the NFL.  Hmmm priorities and wanting something besides football.  Goodbye NFL, Hello Bright Future.

Number 23.  Lebron James will bid farewell next season to #23 and will introduce #6.  Is this classy or just a Kobe-Cat?  I'm not sure, but I sense the latter. How many times do we say goodbye to this jersey number?

Familiar Faces and Familiar Places.  Half the NHL changed places at the NHL deadline.  Seriously look at this list of people that changed teams.  There were no big names that really jumped out at you, but a lot of movement nonetheless.  Next year the NHL trade deadline should be sponsored by U-Haul.  It is so hard to see you go, what's your name again?

Brittney Griner.  Baylor's Griner through a haymaker to Texas Tech's Jordan Barncastle's face in a women's basketball game.  The Four6Three can also probably kiss Griner's regular season and possibly post-season as well.  Griner is famous for her dunking ability found on youtube.  Congratulations you finally got women's basketball some attention good and bad.  I can't tell whats more disappointing to me the fact that a 6 foot 8 girl clobbered another player or that I haven't seen one article with the title- Griner Cuases Shiner ( The best I've found is Dan Shanoff's "One Shiner Moment"). Brittney are you sure you didn't just transfer to Baylor from New Mexico's women's soccer team? No tears here, unless she hits me in the face YEEOWH!

Jason Terry.  Terry the Mavericks guard will be out a short time after surgery to repair a broken orbital bone in his face.  I know you're both in Texas, but Jason please don't hangout with Griner  Mav's fans hope he is back soon as for me... okay I do too.

Missed last week's farewells..... here you go.

Friday Farewells

This weeks Friday Farewells are brought to by (insert your name, company, disgruntled spouse here for a nominal fee*).
I am being serious, for once, about these (at least most of them).

Farewell to:

Robbie Hummel - Purdue's star forward and leader out for the year with a torn ACL. Sadly Purdue's Final Four hopes I must also bid farewell without Hummel the Sweet 16 is as far as they get. Heart breaks for the guy and team.

Brotherly Love. Mark McGwire discussed his disappointment and dismay at his brother Jay's upcoming book about Mark's steroid use. Family get-togethers should be fun. I think signed copies for Mark for Christmas might be a nice gesture. Sad stuff brothers should always have your back not stab it.

The Gold Medal Chance for the U.S. Women's Hockey Team. It was always gold or silver for the U.S. and when that is the case silver seems to taste slightly sour. Disappointing for sure.

Canadian Women's Hockey team's Class.  This departed last night when they partied like drunken hooligans and brought their drunken party back on to the ice.  Not all members of the team are legally able to drink. Talk about not being able to handle success.  Stupidity now has names on the back of hockey jerseys to go with its many faces.  Attention a sense of class has left the building.

No U.S. Nordic Gold Medals. Billy Demong won the first nordic gold medal for the U.S. Teammate Spillane added the silver giving him 3 silvers for the games. Pretty Happy.

Plastic Straws. Chewing plastic straws during games is now banned by the NBA.  Caron Butler for the Mavericks chews about 12 a game or should we say chewed.  Doesn't the NBA have bigger problems like the New Jersey Nets?  My heart says no, but my teeth say yes. 

Respect for NBC Olympic Hockey analyst Mike Milbury. Milbury after calling the German's fire hydrants that were getting peed on by the Canadians, the next day he called the Russians, Eurotrash. The king of class Mike is famous as a player for going into the stands and beating a fan with the guys own shoe. We think youro'trash Mike. Hard to feel bad about losing something you really never had.

Lastly to what I am labeling as SUPER SAD SUNDAY. The Winter Games will come to a close this Sunday and my DVR will breathe a big sigh of relief.  The culmination of the games very well could be a US Canada rematch for the Gold Medal in Men's Hockey.  Those of you not interested in international competition, patriotism, love for mankind and basketball will be thrilled that I will get back to work. Until then USA USA USA... Blow your nose in your hanky crying sad.

*Friday Farewells will be sponsored by the highest bidder.  It is not that we are selling out it is just that we are well.... selling up.